COMMENTS FROM THE UNITED STATES
"I lost my daughter Faith Elizabeth
to complex congenital heart disease on August 20, 1997--she was five days old.
During my subsequent pregnancy, MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY was a tremendous help to me: providing prayer and a listening
ear for my concerns with the next baby. I was also sent lovely mementos in
memory of my daughter Faith."
J., Nebraska, U.S.A.
"When we lost our baby to
miscarriage I was devastated. I searched everywhere for answers and
acknowledgement of our loss. MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY
provided support within my own faith, support I couldn't find any other place.
The gifts sent to me in memory of our baby are something I will always cherish.
MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY acknowledged our loss,
validated my feelings and continues to remember our baby as we
do."
L., Wisconsin,
U.S.A.
"Since my baby's death was so
sudden, to know there was telephone help was wonderful. It was wonderful to have
a contact with someone who had been through a baby death, who could reflect back
to me concepts that I had been feeling but had been unable to articulate.
It made me feel more grounded mentally and emotionally. The Christian
perspective was essentially important to me. MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY has a strong Christian foundation that was missing in other
groups. Also, the help from MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY
was personalized and non-judgemental."
L (Messianic Jew)-Connecticut,
U.S.A.
"MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY has given me the spiritual comfort that I could just not find in
the secular realm. Since I am a spiritual person secular answers are empty
and hollow. Services such as the Prayer Service in the MORNING LIGHT
book (which I found to be very helpful) are difficult to obtain elsewhere. MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY picks up where the secular groups
leave off. The telephone help is unique and fills in the gap amongst the various
self-help methods. The mementos given by MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY and the personal attention given, supercedes any other
compassion displayed by any other organization/group so far."
L., Virginia, U.S.A.
"I related to the articles about
others' experiences with infertility and miscarriage in the FERTILITY CHALLENGES FROM A CATHOLIC
PERSPECTIVE booklet. The crosses sent in
memory of my two babies who died through miscarriage proved a thoughtful
touch to my life. This compassionate and necessary ministry reaches infertile
couples with these and other wonderful resources. May God continue to use MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY to meet the emotional and spiritual
needs of those dealing with infertility issues."
S.,(Baptist-Christian),South Carolina,
U.S.A.
COMMENTS FROM CANADA
"MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY is a beautiful ministry, a real witness to the awesome gift of
each child, no matter how
small."
C.,
Nova Scotia, Canada
"It's very touching that there is a
ministry that recognizes our grief at the loss of an unborn child whereas most
of society doesn't today. It was heartwarming to receive the mementos in memory
of our child James Peter."
C., Prince Edward Island, Canada
"I received a copy of the
MORNING LIGHT book after I experienced two miscarriages. The stories of
other women were comforting, but it was this year when another baby died in
utero at 4 1/2 months that the book proved invaluable. Despite the deep sorrow
we were feeling, but armed with the experience of others and the Prayer
Service from the book, we were able to choose the time for delivery of our baby
instead of being rushed into anything. We delivered our baby, arranged for
cremation and held a private memorial service (for all three of our unborn
babies) with the help of our priest. I am especially thankful that the book
enabled me to insist that our baby be treated with dignity by the hospital and
that gave me the opportunity to see this beautiful creation of God. Having this
baby being treated as fully human and recognized by the Church finally
brought peace."
K.,
Alberta, Canada
"It's helped me knowing there is a
ministry that can help parents who have lost a baby. From MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY there are many resources available
such as information and support, phone calls, a listening ear, to know someone
has shared a like experience who I can share with, knowing someone cares and is
available anytime."
A., British Columbia, Canada
"When people lose a child they
don't know who to talk to or where to go for comfort and how to deal with
this grieving. The MORNING
LIGHT book is a place to find a
reference of how to go about grieving in a healthy fashion."
B., Rural Alberta,
Canada
"Since I've been in contact with
MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY I have been more able to
accept the life of our daughter. I was able to establish that our daughter was
very much a part of our lives. Sadly, my husband passed away recently but I felt
somewhat comforted to finally be able to state that he was 'pre-deceased by a
daughter in 1964'. Before that every family tree was missing this
connection. I thank MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY for the
support which I hope I can pass on to
others."
L., Alberta, Canada
"MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY has helped me in ways I could hardly put into words. The
telephone support alone was very helpful. It let me express my feelings about my
loss with someone who knew exactly what I was going through. The MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY Annual Mass that was held for my
babies who died through miscarriage was a way for me to put my children to
rest and for that alone I am truly grateful to MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY."
L.,
Ontario, Canada
"It has been over 32 years since our
first son, Michael, died shortly after birth. It was a complete shock, and also
didn't get to see or hold him. The funeral took place while I was still in
hospital; and most difficult of all, there was no support for us or any
acknowledgement that Michael had ever been brought into existence, certainly not
from our family members. He was completely ignored. Even the doctor didn't want
to explain why he had died. The deep wound has festered in my heart all these
years, though I told no one. I truly believe we will be reunited with Michael
one day--a soul for all eternity. Thank you MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY so much for the gift of, at last, acknowledgement of our beloved
son."
Y., Ontario,
Canada
"Our daughter Erin was born
prematurely at a gestational age of 24 weeks. She lived for only a few hours
after birth but touched our hearts forever. It is difficult for others to
understand our sadness over this loss. About a year after her birth I was put in
touch with MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY and attended the
Autumn Series with other bereaved parents. I found there an understanding and
empathy beyond words as we shared our stories and our pain. Since that time I
have continued to be supported by MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY through the Lending Library, the beautiful Annual Mass and the
handcrafted mementos that are part of our home's memories of Erin. Our 6 year
old daughter has also benefited from attending the Annual Mass as she
meets other bereaved siblings and sees that other families have shared such
losses as well. "
B.,
K. & M., Ontario, Canada
"I've had three miscarriages each at
around 12 weeks in 1986, 1993 and 1995. Life kept on and I was successful in
many ways but an emptiness dragged at my heart and soul...By chance I saw the
notice for MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY and saw myself
needing someone to hear the sadness at the loss of my children. There is little
opportunity in our world to acknowledge babies who died by miscarriage. There
seemed even less so for a single woman in our Catholic religion-because weren't
you supposed to be married? There were just a lot of blank walls and doors, and
no way out. MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY gave me a voice
and an avenue to acknowledge my sweet children whom I named after my contact
with MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY (Lauren Christian, Hazel
Marie, Michael Noel), children I would have taken care of as they were God's
little ones. I rarely cry about it any more. MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY's acknowledgement has given me some
joy when I tell them good morning or good night, believing they are together in
God's love."
G.,
Ontario, Canada
"MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY has helped me by having a Mass and baptismal candle lit
for my two babies who died due to miscarriage and early infant death. The
MORNING LIGHTbook also really helped me by just knowing other women have
felt the same feelings and thought the same things I have. This is the
only ministry I've found and it is definitely a
Godsend!"
L., Ontario, Canada
(**Lise and her husband Mike drove four
hours-after arranging for childcare for their other children-to come to the
MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY Annual Mass in 2000. Another
bereaved couple generously "put them up" for that night before their four hour
return journey the next day.)
"We believe that the reality of
Katie's life in the womb became real to us from our contact with MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY. We became aware of God's care and
love for her life. Finally there was a Christian acceptance of this life. This
was a healing experience for us both. The beauty and the inclusiveness of the
Annual Mass touched us deeply."
C. & A.(Anglican-Christian), Ontario,
Canada
THIS IS AN EXCERPT FROM A BEREAVED
MOTHER'S TESTIMONY TO TWO PRIEST PRESENTATIONS-ONE IN MISSISSAUGA, ONTARIO IN
1999, ONE IN OSHAWA, ONTARIO IN 2000:
"I am no longer married and became a
Catholic in 1996...It was because my faith had become such a strong guide and
support that when I saw a small notice in our local bulletin about the 7
week MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY Series, I called unsure
whether my situation would be covered. After all I hadn't lost (to use the words
of the notice) a baby. I had just had two miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy.
I knew the Church's belief was that life began at conception but these
weren't really babies after all. That's what I had been told. That's
what I told myself for 14 years...But not now. My participation in the Series
changed that way of thinking...I told you that MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY was a marvelous gift. MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY actually gave me many gifts. Most importantly, MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY gave me my babies. The out and out
dismissive nature of everyone from my doctors to my husband...refuse to
recognize my babies...The focus was on the failure to succeed in
being pregnant not that a human being had been conceived and was now gone
to the Father...Not only did MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY
recognize and acknowledge my babies but it helped me to remember them and to
honour them. MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY gave me mementos
to remember and honour my babies. Due to the early loss and lack of
recognition of my babies I didn't have anything that I could look at or hold to
remember them...all mementos to cherish and hold my babies near in faith each
day...MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY gave me validation as a
mother. It wasn't that I didn't have children, I didn't have any surviving
children. MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY gave me healing. I
could acknowledge my babies even though they weren't here for long. I could
acknowledge my love for them...Just because I can't show you a picture of my
babies' faces, just because my babies don't have names (I have not chosen names
yet), my loss is no less important. The Annual Memorial Mass was such a
wonderful experience of this and of spiritual healing...I urge you to share
MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY with your parishioners. Don't
let one of your parishioners carry this buried inside of them for 14 years.
Allow these people to be freed from the binds of grief...When everyone else is
saying, 'It's not a big deal', MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY
through sharing, mutual comfort, guidance, acknowledgement and prayer says it's
okay if it is. Please share this gift."
J., Ontario, Canada
"I lost five babies many years ago
always at 6 months gestation. MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY enabled me to bring Light and Love into my heart where there had
been buried pain for 30 years. The Love I experienced at MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY moved the pain that I was holding
into the Light. MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY clarified for
me the relationship between God and grieving and brought me
Peace."
S., Ontario,
Canada
"We heard about MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY from our midwife in 1998 who left
the MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY brochure with us at the
most traumatic time in our lives after an adverse prenatal diagnosis. At the
time I put the brochure away thinking-I'm not going to need a group like this!
It was in thinking back, a coping mechanism hoping all would be alright! At this
point you are going through many emotions. You are going through the grieving
process even before your baby is born and still you are desperately hoping all
will be well. Since that time I've read the HOPE IN TURMOIL
booklet. I would have appreciated having it available to me at the time because
I was desperately wanting to hear other stories of how people coped who
brought their babies to term with a fatal condition. Our baby Joseph was
stillborn. I received the MORNING
LIGHT book from the Funeral Home. We found it
helpful in reinforcing our need to plan a proper good-bye. We used parts of the
MORNING LIGHT book's Prayer Service for different parts of the
Mass. Our children wrote good-bye letters to Joseph and picked a special toy to
go in the casket-all suggestions that we got from the MORNING LIGHT
book."
J., Ontario,
Canada
"MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY has helped the Catholic Church to finally recognize a need for
bereaved parents to come to a place and share their grief and faith in one. They
have an annual Mass that celebrates the lives and the loss of our children. This
Mass has so much meaning spiritually, it truly fulfills me. MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY is a place that is filled with God's
love for us to come together and be there for one another through our grief
journey."
A.,
Ontario, Canada
"I would like to thank MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY very much for the beautiful
MORNING LIGHT book that you sent me last year. The remembrances
and the white crocheted cross mean so much to us. As I read the stories in the
MORNING LIGHT book I cried for ourselves and our little girl Ann, and
for all the people who must endure such sadness. Our little girl Baby Ann was
born Nov. 4, 1982. She was full-term and we were informed on Oct. 30 that our
baby had died in the womb...The MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY that you offer to bereaved parents was exactly what I was
looking for in 1982. We received information from the hospital and although I
read every word it lacked a religious perspective. Since my
husband and I were practising
Catholics I was hungry for spiritual healing as well. We felt so alone with our
grief and I truly felt that people didn't understand the loneliness and sadness
that we felt as parents. We had also suffered a miscarriage just before my
pregnancy with Ann and a miscarriage one and a half years later. It was such a
bleak time for us and I was desperate to contact others in similar situations. I
felt very isolated. We also felt that God had forsaken us and it was a long time
before I retained my relationship with God. We were then blessed with
three wonderful sons. They know that they have a sister and we do visit her
grave as it is located behind the church that we attend in D.,
Ontario."
P.,
Ontario, Canada
"I went to a priest for some
spiritual guidance after my miscarriage in November, 1999. He referred my
phone number to MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY with my
permission. Upon my first conversation with Bernadette she made me feel
comfortable. As we talked she made me feel a little bit better about myself and
what I had been through. I was afraid of getting more deeply depressed than what
I already was experiencing, as I have a surviving child and a husband to care
for. If it weren't for Bernadette's kindness and soft encouraging words, I would
have been driven deeper into my depression. She invited my husband and myself to
attend MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY monthly meetings
where there would be others who have suffered a loss of a child. This helped me
the most because I really didn't want to be around others much because all I had
been doing lately was crying. I had felt a little relieved to know and see
others that had been through a similar situation as we had. The
information that was given to Rob and I was so helpful and needed. The music
that Bernadette had chosen for the topics that we were discussing were so sweet
as well as uplifting (to a point since some of the music was sad but they fit
the topic at hand). Bernadette did a lot of things out of the kindness of her
heart and to help others in need. MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY sent numerous items to us in memory of our child we lost which
has helped us in a way that we can put a kind of closure/memory to our
baby. We won't ever forget about our baby but in the whole picture we don't want
to stay focusing on what happened and the awful feelings we were feeling
about losing her. It is really hard for me to put in words how MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY has helped my family and myself. All
I know is that deep in my heart and soul I truly thank Bernadette and the
beautiful ministry that has helped me to survive one of the most difficult
times in my life, losing a baby."
C. & R., Ontario, Canada
"We found MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY to be tremendously helpful to us
once we received the fatal diagnosis for the baby I was carrying. With the help
of MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY we were able to prepare for
the birth and death of our son in almost every way. From the HOPE IN TURMOIL
booklet we were able to be reassured by other families stories and connect with
a family through a resource group listed in the booklet whose baby had exactly
the same fatal condition as our son. We were, on a practical level, able to make
the necessary arrangements regarding his birth (Baptism, having pictures taken,
handprints & footprints, holding and talking to our son) and death (funeral
and burial arrangements etc.). On a spiritual level we were encouraged to pray
and trust that the Lord did not 'do this' to our son, but that the Lord has a
unique plan for all of us. The ongoing telephone support and the written
resources available to us helped make our baby's birth and death the most
positive experience possible, in that we were able to prepare (as much as we
were able) for his birth and death, and we are very much at peace with our
decisions with the help of MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY. We
are grateful to MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY for being
there for us through such a difficult trial."
P. & M., Ontario, Canada
"I find that the book MORNING LIGHT
is really from a Christian perspective rather than just a Catholic
perspective. It deals with the raw emotions and spiritual confusion of bereaved
parents in a very honest and real way. I personally found it enhanced my
spiritual journey. Even though it's been several years since the death of my
son, I found it comforting and helpful to re-visit the Old Testament references
to baby loss. I found the suggestion of using lamentation as a form of prayer to
be an exciting idea."
P. (Christian From Another Denomination), Ontario, Canada
"I found the MORNING LIGHT book
to be a perfect combination of religious support, helpful information and
personal stories that continue to help me through the many rough days and
help calm my sense of isolation. Bernadette Zambri has written a 'personal
friend' for each of us who have lost a child so we don't have to journey
alone."
M., Ontario,
Canada
"MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY gave me an opportunity to set aside some time from my busy
schedule to reflect on our lost babies in a caring, prayerful environment. We
shared a bond of love for our babies whose fleeting lives took a firm emotional
hold on our hearts."
M. (bereaved father), Ontario, Canada
"Even though I didn't attend a MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY meeting, knowing the help was
available meant a lot to me. The ministry was particularly helpful in providing
me with further resources in my subsequent pregnancy."
G., Ontario, Canada
"I felt that the monthly support
group and the 7 week Series of MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY
were very good learning experiences especially from the husband's point of view
in order to understand the grieving process of his wife. It also helped me to
understand my own grieving process. I got to understand other couples'
experiences regarding the uniqueness of their babies and the events surrounding
their babies' deaths. Also, I became aware that each couple grieves
differently."
D.,
Ontario, Canada
"The death of my babies due to
miscarriage has been devastating. I am grateful that love, support and
compassion from MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY are only a
phone call away."
K.,
Ontario, Canada
"After losing our baby boy with
anencephaly whose life was not valued by anyone, I felt like I was travelling on
a very lonely road. Then, one day in September, 1996, I got a phone call from
Bernadette at MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY. She immediately
expressed that she valued my son's life. What a blessing it was to know that
Bernadette and other parents at the monthly support group and the Series could
better understand my loss because they all had experienced the loss of their
babies who are all now in heaven."
L., Ontario, Canada
"Five months after Sara's death, the
7 week Series gave us a great opportunity to unite together to listen, share,
and connect in a spiritual way. Understanding and expressing my sorrow and
grief, within the context of my Catholic faith was very important to me. MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY's spirituality of unity and love has
helped me find the Peace of Christ. Praise God!"
C., Ontario, Canada
"I am a bereaved mother who is
experiencing difficulty in conceiving other children. I found the FERTILITY CHALLENGES FROM A CATHOLIC
PERSPECTIVE booklet very interesting and
informative, but most of all that there are places to go and resources from a
Christian perspective. Reading the stories of other couples relieved the
feeling of isolation that I had experienced previously."
J., Ontario, Canada
"Carrying a sick child to term is
not an easy journey, but parents in this situation need to know the beauty there
is in life, no matter how brief, and the joy and peace from making the decision
to continue the pregnancy. The parents can only know this through the positive
experiences of those who have walked this path. Reading HOPE IN TURMOIL
gives the parents this opportunity. As a Catholic ministry, MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY offered comfort we could not find
anywhere else. The affirmation and support for our child's precious life (that
we also received from our priest), the understanding and compassion of a parent
who had survived the loss of a child were together in one ministry. For us, it
was the perfect
support."
J.
& D., Ontario, Canada
"MORNING LIGHT
MINISTRY has helped me in many ways with my journey back to God
after losing my three week old son. Whenever I needed to talk, help was just a
phone call away. The many conversations helped me realize I was not alone in my
anger towards God, and that lamenting was indeed a form of prayer. Two years
after I lost my son, I still felt very disconnected to the Church and God.
Attending the MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY Autumn Series
and Annual Mass has helped me restore my faith."
M., Ontario, Canada
"When I had the first miscarriage I
was 10 1/2 weeks pregnant and we were on vacation. My husband called in a priest
(not mentioning the age of our baby) . When the priest did come he said, 'I
don't usually come when the baby's this young.' It made me feel that my
loss was less significant because of my baby's age. With my second miscarriage
everyone's expectations were for us to get on with our lives and so I never
grieved. With MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY (the Series and
the Annual Mass) I was finally able to grieve the loss of my two babies, receive
acknowledgement for their lives and reaffirm that all life begins at conception.
It allowed me to question and eventually this strengthened my
faith."
L., Ontario,
Canada
"If I can articulate the difference
between MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY and other groups that
offered assistance it is the personal aspect-it truly felt like a person
reaching out to you in understanding and compassion. MORNING
LIGHT MINISTRY is founded in Christ unlike other groups. MORNING LIGHT MINISTRY has a true appreciation of Derek's
life."
L., Ontario,
Canada
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